Nothing is not funn'able. Here we touch topics so sensitive that you may just go away hating me.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Awaiting the first visitor.

I slapped together my new website and quickly added a hit counter.
I started the counter at #913, it's like virginity all over again.

9-13 is my birthday and I figure why not start the counter there and at least look like someone has visited the site. I await the first visitor as if it was my first lover. Starting with a fake number may seem dishonest, but what can it hurt? When I finally lost my virginity I lied then too. She asked me how many women I had been with and quickly answered " fivineteen" . I couldn't say I was a virgin since I just spent the last three hours telling her about how I graduated high school and spent a year at NASA space camp but was kicked out for asthma. Why kill my fresh cool guy image. I don't think it would have mattered what I told her, she was drunk, horny and had just gotten out of her third divorce. It is funny how women drop their guard when they are #120 overweight and balding. She just smiled, looked out the car window and hacked up what sounded to be a beanbag chair and patted me on the knee.

I often think back to that night every march 12th and although I don't remember much after I passed out from inhaling pubic hairballs I do remember the anticipation of losing my virginity. As I sit here looking at my counter, I have similar questions in my head; will I feel different, will people see me different and did I wash my asscrack today. Come on lucky 914!

No comments: